


Lup 'n the Boys, or "Très Horny Gang"

by Mabel_Quartz



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 06:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14868603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mabel_Quartz/pseuds/Mabel_Quartz
Summary: Lup can't explain a lot of things. She can't explain the ring on her finger, or the lapses in her memories, or the gnawing loneliness that appears in her stomach when she spends more than a minute in silence.An AU where Lup is the third member of the THB, and chaos naturally ensues. A series of snippets along the adventure, not always necessarily in chronological order!





	Lup 'n the Boys, or "Très Horny Gang"

The first sign should’ve been the ring.  
It was a little thing, a small detail. A simple silver band and a blue jewel in the center. It fit comfortably on her ring finger, like it had always been there; like it was meant to be there.  
Lucretia didn’t even realize she’d forgotten about it.  
It glimmered in the dim light of the tavern as Lup sang, voice swelling and dipping and warbling along with the violin in her hands. The shine coming off the jewel cut through the tavern’s atmosphere like the elf’s voice.  
It was a normal night in Phandalin, which meant that it was sleepy outside, because all the freaky shit in the town was confined to this tavern. As Lup sang and played, she watched two tieflings in the corner as they came dangerously close to getting it on. Her eyes followed a jacket as it went flying. It suddenly occurred to her that she maybe shouldn’t have suggested this tavern to meet her new coworkers at, even if she was currently working there for a spell, and that Gundren Rockseeker didn’t seem like the type of fellow to enjoy seedy spots like this, and goddammit she was going to scare her newest source of income away. A man near the stage looked away from his date and caught her eye. She shot him a gap-toothed smile. He flushed and looked pointedly anywhere else. Lup felt a small sense of accomplishment. Many other tavern-goers seemed a bit entranced, as well, watching her with soft rapture in their faces.  
At the back of the tavern, the door swung open. The man that walked in nearly took up the whole frame. Lup nearly dropped her violin.  
He was tall, taller than most human men she’d seen, and most humans seemed a little tall to her, in all her 5 foot 3 inch elven glory. What stuck out most besides the size of his body was the size of his sideburns; the man’s face was more sideburn than beard. The overgrown facial hair couldn’t conceal the fact that he was handsome, and ruggedly so. As he made eye contact with Lup, he grinned, and Lup felt herself grin back without really thinking about it. Was this Magnus Burnsides?  
She watched him as he took a seat near the window, quickly hailing the waitress for a mug of ale. As she finished her song, she leaned into the mic and chirped, “Hey, guys! It’s been real, but I gotta go!” and she hopped from the stage, her boots making a satisfying THUMP on the hardwood floor. She crossed the busy room to where the man was waiting, and stuck her hand out to meet his before he could get a word in.  
“Yo, the name’s Lup. Are you Magnus?”  
The man grinned again. “That’s me! How’d you know?”  
She shrugged. “Just kinda had a feeling, I guess?” She pulled out a chair and sat down across from him. “Any idea where Highchurch is?”  
“Down here!”  
They both started in surprise, before turning their attention towards the ground. They were greeted by a gray-haired dwarf sporting a heinous fantasy Hawaiian shirt, owl-large glasses, and an incredibly floofy beard. He was smiling sheepishly and waving at the party of two. “Am I late?”  
“What the fuck is your shirt.” Lup stated, not asked.  
“Where the fuck can I get your shirt?” Magnus asked eagerly.  
“Uh…I think I got this at a beach store?” Merle replied, pulling up his own chair. “Where’s Gundren?”  
“Uh…Not Here Yet.” Lup answered, shrugging. “I can appreciate that the dude wants to keep us wait—“  
She was cut off by a loud clearing of the throat from the table next to theirs.  
“I’m right here, dipshits.” There was a dwarf sitting at the table next to them, a human man to his left. The dwarf looked a lot like Merle, but…gruffer.  
“Oh! Hey, Gundren!” Merle exclaimed, moving to his table. “Sorry, didn’t see ya, buddy!”  
Gundren rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah…I’ve been waiting for you three for a while, let’s get to business.”  
Magnus rushed from his seat to one of the seats across from Gundren, and Lup followed lazily.  
“You know, I’ve been singing for almost an hour. You could’ve gotten me off stage.” she pointed out. Gundren grumbled a “yeah, yeah”, and began explaining the job to the unlikely trio: “the last job they’d ever need”. Lup zoned out as soon as he stopped talking about what they’d be earning. She glanced at the human man sitting next to Gundren, and smirked. “Is that a good book?” she whispered.  
“Hm?” he asked without looking up from the big-ass book he currently nearly had his nose buried in.  
“Is that a good book, my dude?”  
He actually looked up this time, and immediately upon meeting her gaze, his eyes widened, and he blushed. “Oh!” He cleared his throat; his voice wasn’t nearly as gruff as Gundren’s, but it was deeper than his appearance would let on. You wouldn’t expect a chubby guy with thick glasses, a white button up shirt under his coat, and bright blue jeans to have a particularly deep voice. “It’s…yeah, it’s pretty good,” he smiled, briefly. “I liked your singing.”  
“Thanks! I like your jeans.”  
“Are you a bard?”  
“Pfft, hell no, I’m a wizard.”  
“Oh, okay. W-Well, youcouldbeabard!”  
“Huh?”  
“Nothing. Nothing.”  
“Right…I’m taking it that you’re Gundren’s assistant?”  
He gave her a small half-smile, and a nod. “Yeah, I’m Barry. Barry J. Bluejeans.”  
Lup stared. “…yeah? Huh.”  
“And you must be…Lup?”  
“Yep!” she held out her hand for him to shake, which he did. His hand was soft, and warm, and only a little sweaty.  
“Nice name. What’s your last name?”  
Lup blinked, then furrowed her brow a bit. “Uh, I don’t…have one? I guess, uh…’the Lesser’?” she shrugged. “Last names are a family oriented thing, I guess. Which I was never really oriented with.  
“Oh, I’m…I’m sorry to hear that.”  
“Eh, it’s whatever. Don’t worry about it, dear Barry.”  
He smiled again. She felt a weird fluttering in her stomach.  
As Gundren continued to brief them and Lup began to at least try to listen, her eyes honed in on the coin around Barry’s neck, kept there by a rusty looking chain, nearly tucked into his coat. Her eyes tended to do that when it came to money.  
They only briefly skimmed over the ring on his ring finger, fitted comfortably and perfectly, a simple silver band and a glimmering brown jewel in the center. It didn’t seem important to her, not in that moment.  
The first sign should’ve been the ring. The first sign should’ve been that goddamn ring.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Comments are encouraged, but don't feel pressured to leave any!


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